How about a little fun this Friday with a game of Marry, Screw, Kill with Jacey Conrad and Gia Corona, authors of Seared, Burned, Poached, and From Russia With Claws releasing this summer! Oh, and we have a snippet of this amazing book in AUDIO!
Enjoy!
Audio Book Clip:
Round 1: Adorable Brits: Luke Evans, Tom Hiddleston, Colin Firth
Jacey:
I can’t believe I came up with this conundrum for myself. I love all three of these lovely gentleman so much. But I’m going to have to say
Marry: Colin Firth. He’s Mr. Freaking Darcy, how could I NOT want to spend the rest of my imaginary life with him? I would make him wake me up every morning with the ‘I love you most ardently” speech.
Screw: Luke Evans. You know what they say about men with unnaturally long canine teeth.
Kill: I’m sorry, Tom Hiddleston, I’m sure you would make a remarkable sexy, menacing supervillain exit speech while I took you out.
Gia:
This is not even a contest. Weak sauce is what this is.
Marry: Tom Hiddleston. I mean, hello, he’s Tom Hiddleston. He’s my ideal casting choice for Neil Gaiman’s Sandman (especially after seeing him as Adam in Only Lovers Left Alive). He’s LOKI for heaven’s sake. He’s a Shakespearean actor. Yes, please.
Screw: Colin Firth. He would not have been my choice before I saw Kingsman. Specifically, the church scene. Throw in a little homicidal mania and I’m a happy girl.
Kill: Bye, Luke Evans. You are not forgiven for Dracula Untold. EVER.
Round 2: Down and Dirty Brits: Mark Strong, Idris Elba, Luke Goss
Jacey:
Dude, I am mean to myself.
Marry: Idris Elba. Because of his voice. I would want to listen to him talk for the rest of my life. He could read me a phone book and I would be enchanted.
Screw: Luke Goss. Because I’ve based like three heroes on his physical description and I would have to know whether I’d over-estimated his imaginary prowess.
Kill: I’m sorry, Mark Strong. You will be a worthy adversary.
Gia:
Still not a contest. This one’s another easy one.
Marry: Mark Strong. Dear God, this man. Sigh. His eyes. I’ve had a thing for him since that horrible A&E version of Emma. Mr. Knightley indeed.
Screw: Idris Elba. Oh yes.
Kill: Sorry Luke. You just don’t do it for me.
Round 3: People Who Might Be Irish or Scottish: Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy, Gerard Butler
Jacey:
This round was inspired by Gia’s plaintive wail of “Why no Fassbender??!”
Marry: Gerard Butler, not just because he’s beautiful and I have memorized the way his bottom lip quirks when he sings. (Totes normal.) His interviews make me laugh and I think that would be pretty essential to an imaginary marriage.
Screw: James McAvoy, he’s an adorable little minx and I love his filthy mouth when he’s on the more liberal chat shows.
Kill: Fassbender. He’s gorgeous, but when he smiles, I have this irrational fear that he would bite my face if I got too close. Also, Gia would kill me if I touched her precious.
Gia:
Another easy one.
Marry: James McAvoy. He’d be like a pocket husband. We’d curse like longshoremen together!
Screw: FASSBENDER. He’s not the kind of guy I’d want to have making me breakfast. He’s the kind of guy I keep in my basement sex dungeon. You know. If I had one. Which I don’t. Anyway, the man is hellsa hot and his smile makes me want to do very BAD things to him.
Kill: Sorry Gerard. This is NOT Sparta.
Jacey: You’ll notice that while Gia’s rounds weren’t exactly excruciating dilemmas, I don’t openly MOCK them. Also, ignore her sex dungeon denials. Because, honestly.
Round 4: Killers: Mads Mickelson, Richard Armitage, Jamie Dorman
Jacey:
Easiest round yet.
Marry: Richard Armitage. He’s gorgeous, seems to have nice manners and listening to him read an audiobook of classic love poems almost made me pass out. Again, apparently, I’m a voice whore.
Screw: Mads Mikkelson, but I would have to make him wear the Lecter mask or be holding an Uzi the whole time, because his cheekbones are very intimidating.
Kill: Jamie Dornan. Just. Because.
Gia:
I suggested this one because of Hannibal (Mads and Richard) and The Fall—both shows about serial killers.
Marry: Richard Armitage. Damn, son, you even made dwarves look hot. Thorin Dreamboatshield, hello! (I take no credit for that moniker—that was Sarah Rees Brennan). Also I loved him in MI5 (originally titled Spooks) from waaaay back in the day. His voice is amazing and he seems like he’d be a pleasant companion.
Screw: Mads. Have you seen A Royal Affair? Go ahead. I’ll wait. Mads forever.
Kill: Jamie Dornan. You might be amazing on The Fall, but that doesn’t mean you are able to compete with the big bads above.
Round 5: Lord of the Rings: Viggo Mortensen, Orlando Bloom, Karl Urban
Jacey:
Seriously, Gia, you know me so well.
Marry: Karl Urban. He could be my Horse Lord. And I would say thank you.
Screw: Viggo Mortenson. Eastern Promises. That’s all I’m sayin.
Kill: Orlando Bloom. I need a big guy. I’m pretty sure that if I hugged him too hard, I would snap him in half.
Gia:
I feel like this one was way too easy.
Marry: Viggo Mortenson. Aragorn was one of my fictional crushes. And Viggo will always hold a place in my heart for his portrayal of Lucifer in The Prophecy. He’d slay orcs for me too, always a plus.
Screw: Karl Urban. I remember him as Cupid on Xena. Wow. I’m having issues now.
Kill: Orlando Bloom. You are still the prettiest, but pretty doesn’t do it for me. Sorry, elf.
Round 6: Game of Thrones: Jon Snow, Jaime Lannister, Khal Drogo?
Jacey:
When Gia sent me this, my response was, (whispers) … I love you…
Marry: Khal Drogo. Because pillow talk in Dothraki would be so hot it would be sort of evil. I do seem to have a thing for Horse Lords.
Screw: Jaime Lannister. But I would feel really conflicted about it afterwards and spend every minute afraid Cersei was going to murder me.
Kill: Sorry, Jon Snow, you know nothing of pleasing Southern Girls.
Gia:
So when I told another friend of mine about this round, she said, “What, no Tyrion?” And I hung my head in shame because I adore Tyrion so much, and not just because he’s loosely based on Richard III.
Marry: Jon Snow. He just seems like he’d make a good house husband. He’d take care of the cleaning, get the kids off to school on time, he has a direwolf—all things I’d look for in a husband if I still wanted one. He’s a keeper. And I could shout, “You know nothing, Jon Snow!” whenever we’d argue.
Screw: Khal Drogo. I don’t think I need to explain that one.
Kill: Let’s be honest, Jaime. You have been sleeping with your TWIN sister for years. That not only says you have a REALLY flexible moral compass, but also indicates you are so self-absorbed you actually kind of want to screw YOURSELF. Also, who the hell knows what kind of medieval fantasy version of the syph you’ve got mutating inside of you, you human petrie dish. Also also, the way you handle grief is deeply upsetting. I’m taking you out of the gene pool.
Jacey: Judging you so hard right now. For your omission of Tyrion and marrying, Jon “I openly avoid asking vital, life-altering questions of a Targaryen who literally lives three feet from my door” Snow.
Gia: Look, I never said Snow was a braintrust. He’s pretty and good with a sword and comes with a wolf that will EAT YOUR FACE OFF. At least he isn’t Jaime Lannister, Mr. “I Shove Small Children Out of Windows Because They Catch Me Banging My Twin!”We’ll do another one with Tyrion, I promise.
BONUS ROUND:
Battle of the Marvel Chrises: Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Chris Pratt
Gia:
I hate myself so much for thinking of this. I seriously am paralyzed with indecision. But I’ll try.
Marry: Chris Evans. This giant DORK. I love him so much. I think we’d do nothing but laugh and make questionable life choices.
Screw: Chris Hemsworth. Those arms. Yes, please.
Kill: I love you, Pratt. And since nobody actually dies in the MCU, I feel assured that you will only be mostly dead and be brought back to life via some deus ex machina. Siege Perilous anyone?
Jacey:
Why would you do this to me? WHY? I thought we were friends!
Marry: Chris Pratt. I love his sense of humor and how down-to-earth he seems. Also, he’s not afraid of carbs. We could eat cookies and watch stupid YouTube videos all day.
Screw: I think Chris Hemsworth’s massive biceps would make me feel like a dainty lady.
Kill: This is so unpatriotic, but Chris Evans. On the other hand, he seems entirely too perfect, so I suspect he might be a robot. I may be doing us all a favor.
Thanks so much for stopping by, ladies! I certainly don’t envy you in the least for having to make these choices! I’m having all sorts of palpitations and the shakes just thinking about having to choose…man, I need a drink. Is it too early to drink? Eh, it’s five o’clock somewhere! ~Jillian
About FROM RUSSIA WITH CLAWS:
When Alpha female Galina Sudenko agreed to attend her distant cousin’s birthday party, she wasn’t counting on meeting the devastatingly handsome and powerful Rom Alpha, Andrey Lupesco, or having her sexy times with him interrupted by the murder of her idiot brother-in-law, Sergei. But such is life when your father is one of the most powerful werewolves within Seattle’s supernatural Russian organized crime syndicate.
Not content with being just a pretty face and good breeding stock, Galina sets out to make her mark within the family. But in doing so, she runs afoul of her eldest brother, Alexei, the heir apparent to the family dynasty. He has no intention of ceding his position without a fight.
Andrey and Galina’s burgeoning romance is threatened when she discovers that before his death, Irina’s husband, Sergei, hijacked Andrey’s shipment of the werewolf drug, Bullet, a synthetic drug that gives the supernatural creatures a cocaine-like high. Sergei’s theft means that Andrey had a reason to have Sergei killed, leaving Galina to decide whether to risk trusting Andrey even as her feelings for him deepen.
As her brother Alexei’s behavior becomes more erratic, Galina must find the missing shipment, prove to her family that she’ll be a capable leader, and decide whether her lover Andrey can be trusted before she can hope to challenge her brother for his position as head of the family.
A tale of sexy werewolves, forbidden love, family power struggles, and danger closing in, Gia Corona and Jacey Conrad’s From Russia With Claws will leave you howling for more!
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About the authors: Jacey Conrad is a sushi-loving, pop culture nerd living in the South with her high school sweetheart. She delights in horribly made mutant shark movies and watching Sean Bean die in his various cinematic incarnations. To keep up with Jacey on twitter, go to https://twitter.com/JaceyConrad Gia Corona loves boots, boys, and bourbon, not necessarily in that order. When she’s not actively stalking Michael Fassbender and his abdominals, she’s watching questionable television or reading comics. You can find her at twitter.com/Gia_writes
their friends about my books. (Thank you, thank you! Sincerely, thank you. Nothing is more powerful than one reader telling another, “I love Susan Mallery!”)
safe because her mother bounced from one bad relationship to another, with Maya trailing after her, helpless as a child to change her circumstances. When she grew up, she was determined not to repeat her mother’s mistakes. She couldn’t trust anyone but herself to make sure that she achieved everything she wanted to in life. Not even Del, the man she loved with every fiber of her being.
Avery Flynn has three slightly-wild children, loves a hockey-addicted husband and is desperately hoping someone invents the coffee IV drip.
