Underneath the goody-two-shoes persona is damaged goodsโฆbut can the bad boy across the street save her?
Damaged Goods, an all-new angsty, enemies to lovers, sports romance from USA Today bestselling author L.J. Shen is now available!
Bailey Followhill is the perfect daughter.
Sweet. Charitable. Pretty. Control freak.
Not a hair out of place, not an inch out of line, she is everything her troublemaking sister Daria isn’t.
But when her A game turns out to be a lukewarm C- at Juilliard, Bailey’s picture-ready life starts fraying faster than the worn satin ribbons of her pointe shoes.
She’s becoming a piece of gossip.
The Troubled Child. A drug abuser.
No longer the girl her best friend once knew.
Lev Cole is so golden, he’s got the Midas Touch.
Prized quarterback. Football captain. Hottest guy in SoCal. A textbook clichรฉ.
But with a girlfriend he doesn’t love and a career path he doesn’t value, Lev is coasting.
The only two things he cares aboutโBailey and becoming a pilotโare out of reach.
But Lev is done being satisfied with the life others have chosen for him. He wants to pick his own cards. To demolish the seamless kingdom of lies his family stitched together on the ruins his mother left behind.
The question is, can he save his best friend and his dream before too much damage is done?
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PROLOGUE
Lev
Age fourteen
Iโm standing over my motherโs grave, wondering why the fuck my eyes are dry.
I couldnโt look at the coffin back inside the church. Knight said she looked pretty. Calm. At peace. But alsoโฆnothing like herself.
I squeezed my eyes shut the entire way through, the way I did when I was really little and went on spooky rides at theme parks. Now Iโm freaking out because maybe I made a mistake, because it was the last time I could look at her face not through a picture.
Thatโs the thing about losing someoneโthere are so many losses along the way that make up a big loss.
No more cuddles in bed on rainy days.
No more heart-shaped fruit in my lunch box.
No more singing lullabies to me when Iโm sick, with me pretending Iโm embarrassed and annoyed by it when actually Mom singing lullabies is the best thing to happen to this universe since sliced bread.
Bailey is hugging me so close, my bones are about to dissipate to dust. Sheโs about four inches taller than me now, which is stupid and embarrassing and just my luck. My face is hidden deep inside her hair, and I pretend to cry because it seems rude and screwed up if I donโt. But the truth is, Iโm not sad or gloomy or any of those things. Iโm fucking pissed. Angry. Enraged.
Momโs gone.
What if sheโs cold? What if sheโs claustrophobic? What if she is struggling to breathe? What if sheโs scared? Reasonably, I know she isnโt. Sheโs dead. But logic isnโt my friend right now. Not even an acquaintance. Hell, I doubt I could spell the word in my current state. I feel like Bailey is physically keeping me together. Like if she loosens her arms around me, Iโll collapse into thousands of little marbles, scatter and disappear into the nooks and crannies of the cemetery.
Everyone files back to their cars. Dad claps a shaking hand over my shoulder and steers me away from the grave. Bails reluctantly releases me. I clutch the tips of her fingers. Sheโs gravity. Sheโs oxygen. In this moment in time, sheโs everything.
Sensing my unspoken need for her, Bailey turns to my dad. โMay I please catch a ride with you, Uncle Dean?โ
Thank you, Jesus.
โYeah, Bails, sure,โ Dad says distractedly, laser-focused on Knightโs back. My brother is going through his own stuff right now and my dad is trying to ensure he doesnโt lose another member of our family. Usually, Iโm cool with being the low-maintenance, โbackgroundโ kid. Not today, though. I just lost my mom at fourteen. I want the world to stop, but it disrespectfully keeps on spinning and functioning like my life wasnโt just destroyed.
Before we hop into the car, I clutch Baileyโs fingers and pull her to me. โIf I told you I want to run away from here, somewhere really far, likeโฆI dunno, Kansas far, what would you say?โ
Her big blue eyes hold mine like my eyeballs are about to fall off. โWe ride at dawn, bitch.โ
โReally?โ I ask.
She nods once. โTry me, Lev. Youโre my best friend. Iโll never let you down.โ
Itโs weird, but the possibility of Bailey and me running away from all this is the one thing holding my ass together right now. She might be everyoneโs good girl, but to me, sheโs a bad addiction.
The drive is silent. Iโm a page torn out of a book. Out of place and floating aimlessly. All I have is the memory of once belonging. Then, weโre in front of my house. Everyone trickles inside in their black frocks. They look like ghouls. Home without Mom isnโt a home. Itโs a pile of bricks and expensive furniture.
Invisible ivy roots me to the ground. Bailey is the only one who notices. She loiters behind with me, and suddenly, I really hate that Iโm putting all my dreams and hopes on her. Because she could be gone tomorrow too. Bus accident. Freak heart attack at fifteen. A kidnap-and-murder plot. The options are endless, and I have really shitty luck with people.
โKansas?โ She grabs my fingers, playing them like theyโre keys on a piano.
I shake my head, too choked up to produce actual words.
โWe donโt have to go inside.โ Her hands slide up to grab my arms and keep me standing. How did she know Iโm close to falling? โWe can hang out at mine. Iโll make fondue. We can watch South Park.โ Her blues gleam like sapphires.
Fresh irritation floods me. Bailey is being soooo understanding, even though she doesnโt understand jack shit. She does have a mom. A healthy one. And a dad. And a sister who isnโt an addict. Her life is perfect, while mine is a pile of calamities.
Sheโs a blossoming flower, and Iโm dirt, but thatโs okay because the thing about flowers is theyโre buried in dirt, so I know exactly how to cut her off.
Shaking her off, I swivel and stomp my way out of our cul-de-sac. She races after me, calling my name. Her Mary Janes clap the ground urgently.
โLev, please! Did I say something wrong?โ
To be fair to her, she stood no chance at saying anything right. But screw being fair. Iโm hurting, and she is baggage. Just another person to love and to lose.
I pick up my pace, running now. I donโt know where Iโm going, but Iโm eager to get there. The skyโcompletely blue just seconds agoโcracks like an egg. Thunder rolls, gray washes over it, and rain starts pouring in thick sheets. Itโs summer in SoCal and shouldnโt rain. The universe is angry, but Iโm angrier.
Whenever Bailey manages to catch the sleeve of my shirt, I speed up, but even after thirty minutes of running in the rain, soaked to the bone, she doesnโt quit. Somehow, we find ourselves in the woods on the outskirts of town. The thick, tall branches and blankets of leaves intertwine together like laced fingers above us, creating a makeshift umbrella. I can sort of see my surroundings now, and itโs pretty and itโs calm and far enough away from that stupid cemetery. I stop running when I realize Iโm not gonna escape the new reality: Momโs dead.
I finally understand the term heartbreak. Because that thing in my chest? Split open clean in two.
I turn around, my lungs scorching. Bailey is pale and sodden, her black dress clinging to her body. Her lips are blue and her skin is so pale, I see a map of purple and red veins under her flesh.
โGo home,โ I growl. But I donโt want her to go home. I want her to never leave.
She steps closer, tilting her chin up defiantly. โIโm not leaving you.โ
โFuck off, Bailey!โ I fold in half, screaming. I feel like she kicked me in the stomach.
Sheโll leave. Sheโll let you down. Donโt fall for this, Lev.
โIโm so sorry.โ Her eyes are full of tears, and she flexes her fingers, itching to grab me.
Hug me.
Go away.
Fuckfuckfuck.
My mouth opens again and more bullshit spews out. โDonโt be sorry for me. Be sorry for yourself. Youโre the loser who hangs out with an eighth grader instead of people your own age.โ
โI wish it didnโt happen.โ She ignores my insults, trying to grab my fingers again and play them like a piano, like she does every time Iโm upset.
Laughing, I rasp, โI wish you didnโt happen.โ
โI wish it were me who was dead.โ Her face is covered with tears and pain and mud, and I canโt do this anymore. I donโt care how much Iโm hurting, I canโt ruin the only good thing about my life right now. She gives me something to fight for when every cell of my body wants to give up.
โNow youโre just talking outta your ass.โ I spit phlegm between us.
She shakes her head, quivering fingers darting to her hair, massaging her scalp. I believe her. And it kills me that even though I feel like someone slashed me open and my guts are pouring out, I still wouldnโt want Bailey to be in Momโs place.
โIโm not. Iโm serious. I would die before willingly watch you suffer.โ
Thereโs a beat of silence. Then I open my mouth and the most feral, scary, loud cry Iโve ever heard tears out of it. It echoes in the sky and bounces off the trees. A flock of ravens takes flight from the treetops.
And then I go to the only place I need to be right nowโI go mad.
For more information about L.J. Shen and her books, visit her website:
https://www.authorljshen.com
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